No Looking Back Read online

  No Looking Back

  A Zombie Apocalypse Love Story

  Kate L. Mary

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Acknowledgments

  Also by Kate L. Mary

  About the Author

  Published by Twisted Press, LLC, an independently owned company.

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are fictitious or have been used fictitiously, and are not to be construed as real in any way. Any resemblance to person, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2019 by Kate L. Mary

  Cover art by Kate L. Mary

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express permission of the author except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Created with Vellum

  For the Milton-Union High School Class of 1998

  Chapter 1

  The sun was still low when I stepped outside, but its bright orange and yellow rays were visible through the trees lining the Stillwater River. There had been a time when the dawning of a new day was something I could take in stride, but not anymore. Now, the end of every day felt like an accomplishment, and the beginning of a new one seemed like a very complicated and exhausting set of hurdles I would be forced to overcome.

  I stood on the top step of the RV I now called home for a moment longer and as I looked around. All across the settlement other people were preparing to start a new day, some laboring over fires to get breakfast or coffee going, while others had already been up for hours and were fully dressed, moving about their daily tasks with a purpose that only this terrifying new world could bring.

  I was somewhere in between since I’d been awake for a couple hours and had eaten a protein bar in the privacy of my RV while reading. It was one of the few simple pleasures from the old world that I refused to give up. I clung to it like a man lost at sea holding onto a life preserver. It helped keep me sane, helped transport me somewhere else, if only for a few hours.

  Everyone had their own form of salvation these days. For some it was the one family member that had miraculously survived when seventy-five percent of the world died, or the picture they had taken from their home before leaving their old lives behind for good. No matter what it was, it was the thing that kept you going, that gave you something to live for or a moment of peace in an otherwise hectic and unpredictable world.

  The RV shook slightly when I took a step down. Our little settlement was located in a valley that had at one time been West Milton Municipal Park. When most of the population died only to come back as the walking dead, this had seemed like a natural place to set up camp. The southern entrance, which sat at the top of a steep hill along Washington Street, had been fortified with a wall of cars and dumpsters that we’d managed to move from other areas. The same thing had been done at the main entrance on State Route 571. That road looked down over the valley and was the only way vehicles were able to access the park, and thanks to the combined efforts of the survivors, it now had a much sturdier gate than the one that had existed before.

  Now, eight months after this all started and having just survived our first winter, we were fairly settled in. All around the former park RVs and trailers were lined up by the dozens, situated in a semi-circle with a clearing in the middle. Fire pits sat in front of every one of them, some the kind that used to be sold in stores, while others were nothing more than holes dug in the ground with grates over them. Either way, they worked, and they were more than necessary in this new reality of no electricity.

  Over the last eight months people had worked to make this feel more like home, building small porches or even screened in areas in front of their RVs. Dirt bikes or motorcycles were parked outside a lot of them—although finding gas was getting more and more difficult—and even a few bicycles. Horses, too, had been liberated from farms and stables and now lived in the valley we called home.

  We’d gotten lucky, living in a rural area that was teeming with hunters and farmers, as well as avid fishermen—and women. There was no shortage of game to go around, and now that spring had bloomed, the former farmers had already begun planting crops. As much as I missed the old world and the life I’d had before, we were doing pretty well. We had a safe place, a good group, and a plan for the future. Just hearing the stories from travelers passing through told me it wasn’t always the case, and I was learning to be thankful for small things.

  “April!”

  I turned at the sound of my name, pushing my thick, dark hair back when it got caught on the wind and blew across my face. Devon was heading my way, huffing as he jogged, his pink cheeks telling me he’d been out for a while already, as did his camouflage pants and shirt, and the rifle slung over his shoulder. He leaned down when he stopped in front of me, putting his hands on his knees as he worked to slow his breathing, while his brown eyes focused on my face.

  Five years my junior, Devon was one of the few men who was even close to my age, which for some reason made the entire settlement think we should be together. Not that I was interested. He was a nice enough guy, and always had a smile on his face despite everything he’d lost, but a relationship wasn’t on my list of priorities when it came to post-apocalyptic survival. Despite the ever increasing hints from my seventy-year-old neighbor, Dolly, that I was going to end up an old maid.

  “What’s going on?” I asked Devon when he’d finally caught his breath.

  “We picked up a straggler just outside town. He’s pretty worn out. Apparently, he’s been on the road for months. Started in California but headed this way when the virus hit. Said he was trying to get home to see his family.”

  “He just now made it here?”

  I thought about the months that had passed since the virus struck and martial law was declared. Travel had been limited and closely monitored in hopes of stopping the spread of the virus, but it didn’t work. Nothing could, not against something this deadly. Within weeks it had swept across the country, wiping out nearly everyone. The people who were spared should have counted themselves lucky, only it wasn’t an easy thing to do once the bodies started coming back as zombies that wanted nothing more than to wipe human beings off the face of the earth for good.

  “He ran into a lot of trouble out there,” Devon said.

  “I’m not surprised.”

  My gaze moved past him as I scanned the distance, wondering who this guy was and why Devon was bothering me with it. Sure, I was an elected member of the council, but people didn’t usually come running to me when they picked up a straggler. In fact, I sometimes felt like I was the last to learn about a newcomer.

  “He says he knows you,” Devon said, answering my silent question unbidden.

  My gaze snapped back to him while my heart rate picked up speed the way a horde did when it spotted dinner. My throat was suddenly dry, and I couldn’t utter a word. I tried to swallow, but it did no good.

  California. Whoever this guy was, he’d been in California.

  It couldn’t be him. Could it? Was it possible I might get a second chance?

  Finally, against all odds, I managed to mumble, “What’s his name?”

  “Landon James.”

  Landon.

  The breath left my body and
my head rolled in an unnatural way. Darkness began to creep across my vision, and I reached out, trying to grab hold of Devon so I didn’t fall. He said my name, I could hear it, but it sounded far away. Something gripped my elbow, but it wasn’t enough. I stumbled and reached out again, but there was nothing to grab onto. There was only darkness. Darkness, Landon, and me.

  Chapter 2

  “April.” The voice came from far away; only this time it wasn’t Devon. I knew before I’d even opened my eyes, just like I knew the person whispering my name wasn’t a stranger. He was the opposite of a stranger. He was a ghost from my past, one that had been gone so long I’d been certain he was dead. One I’d never allowed myself to hope I would see again.

  Landon.

  My eyes fluttered open and I found a familiar face hovering over me. Familiar, and yet different, too. He’d aged, just like I had, and his face was streaked with dirt and covered in a scraggily beard. I’d never seen him with a beard before, and even though the dark circles under his brown eyes told me how exhausted he was, I liked it on him. He looked rugged, like he belonged in this world. Like he belonged here with me.

  “Landon,” I whispered.

  I lifted my hand, my fingers tingling with the need to touch his face, but I held back. We hadn’t ended things on good terms, quite the opposite, and five years and a whole world had disappeared since the last time we’d spoken. Would he want me to touch him? Was he as happy and relieved to see me as I was to see him?

  “Let me check her over,” a grumbly voice said before Landon could reply.

  He pulled away, disappearing behind a group of other worried faces, and was replaced by Cliff, the gnarled doctor who’d been forced out of retirement by the virus.

  “You been eating enough?” Cliff asked as he wrapped a blood pressure cuff around my arm.

  “Yes.” I tried to push him away, but stopped at the stern scowl he gave me. Saying no to Cliff was not an option. “I’m fine, really. I was just shocked.”

  My gaze flitted past Cliff as I searched the crowd for Landon, but he was nowhere in sight.

  “I’ll be the judge of that,” Cliff said just before covering his ears with his stethoscope, cutting off my chance to argue. Not that I was going to. It was easier to just let Cliff have his way so I could move on.

  A few minutes later I was being helped to a sitting position. The ground beneath me was coated in a layer of moisture from the spring night, and the backside of my jeans—which I had just washed two days prior—were no doubt covered in dirt and grass stains. It would be at least a week before I bothered washing them again, though. Unless it was blood or zombie guts, there just wasn’t much of a point these days.

  “You should probably take it easy for the day,” Cliff said as he hauled himself to his feet.

  The way his face scrunched up told me standing wasn’t easy, but he was a proud man. Way too proud to ask for help if he could manage it himself.

  I looked up at him from my position on the ground. The sun had risen and was now past the tree line, and the sky had brightened to a purplish-blue. A handful of puffy clouds dotted it, but only a few. It was going to be a bright and warm day. A perfect, spring day. The kind that would have had me clamoring to go outside when I was a kid, usually to meet Landon.

  “I’m fine,” I said firmly.

  Cliff’s eyes narrowed, and when he shook his head, not a single white hair moved. There wasn’t a lot left, and what remained was stuck to his scalp, weighed down by dirt and grease. Showers were sporadic, and Cliff wasn’t one to worry about washing what little hair he had. There were more important things in life, or at least that was what he muttered under his breath whenever someone wrangled up a fresh supply of shampoo.

  “Rest,” he barked. “If you’re coming down with something, we need to nip it in the butt before it gets worse. We don’t have enough medicine to take risks.”

  I nodded because there was no way to win this argument, especially not since I’d been on the opposite side of it more than the receiving end. If there was one thing we didn’t risk these days, it was our health.

  “Good.” Cliff nodded twice before turning his back to me. “If I hear you’re doing anything but sitting on that pretty little ass of yours, you’ll be in trouble.”

  “What’s he going to do,” I grumbled, “ground me?”

  Devon was at my side, which I hadn’t registered until he reached out to take my arm so he could help me stand. “He’d probably put you over his knee.”

  “And enjoy every minute of it,” I said. “Pervert.”

  “He’s of the generation that thought it was okay to pinch a woman’s ass,” Devon said.

  “It’s not really an excuse, is it?”

  He chuckled in response.

  I was talking to Devon, but I wasn’t looking at him. I was searching for Landon.

  A small crowd had gathered around me, but had begun to disperse during my debate with Cliff. Landon, for whatever reason, seemed to have wandered away as well. Maybe he didn’t really want to see me. Maybe he hadn’t expected to find me here and seeing me brought back all the bitter words we’d flung at each other the last time we talked. Maybe he wouldn’t stay.

  “You okay?” Devon asked.

  His hand was still on my elbow, and even though I didn’t want to be rude, I wanted him to let me go. He’d spent too much time listening to the opinions of the other people in the settlement and seemed to think us getting together was inevitable. On the other hand, I was pretty sure it was inevitable that we were going to end up not talking to each other if things continued down this path.

  “I’m good.” Gingerly, I pulled my arm from his grasp. “Although a day of lying around doing nothing sounds like a waste to me.”

  “Enjoy it.” Devon shoved his hand through his strawberry blond hair, pushing it off his forehead. It had grown several inches since we met last fall, and that compounded with the weight he’d lost in the wake of the virus made him look older. More mature. “So, what’s the story with this Landon guy? I mean, I’d like to think women fainted simply from hearing my name, but I’m thinking there’s more to the story.”

  “He’s my ex-boyfriend,” I said.

  Again, I wasn’t looking at Devon, but instead scanning the settlement in search of Landon. He seemed to have disappeared, though.

  “Wow.” Devon nodded slowly, doing everything he could to make it seem like the news was no big deal, but the stiff way he held himself gave him away. “You’ve been broken up for a long time?”

  “Yeah.” I exhaled, deciding to give up on searching for Landon for the time being, and turned to face Devon. “We dated in high school and then through college. He got a job in California and wanted me to move with him. I didn’t want to go. We fought about it for months until things finally came to an end.”

  I shrugged like ending an eight-year relationship was no big deal, which was a total lie. It had crushed me. Had crippled me. It had sent me on a self-destructive journey that had lasted five years and only ended when the world did.

  “I need to lie down.” I turned my back on Devon.

  “I’ll check on you later,” he said to my back.

  I’d only taken three steps toward my RV, but stopped because I needed to put things into perspective now before his dreams of romance went any further.

  Turning, I put myself sideways, the RV on one side and Devon on the other, keeping my gaze straight ahead. “I need to lay this out for you, and even though I know it’s not going to be easy to hear, it needs to be said.” I sucked in a deep breath. “It’s not going to happen, Devon. It just isn’t.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see his shoulders slump. “I kind of figured.”

  Could have fooled me, I thought.

  Out loud I said, “You’re a nice guy, you really are, so when I say it’s not you, it’s me, I mean it.”

  “Right.” Devon chuckled. “It has to be me a little. I’m not dumb.”

  “Maybe,”
I responded, “Or maybe it’s just the two of us together. For me, it just doesn’t work.”

  “Okay.” He sighed. “Thanks for being honest.”

  I finally ventured a look his way. “In a world where we could die at any moment, I feel like being honest is the best policy.”

  “Yeah.” Devon nodded as he turned away, saying over his shoulder, “Get some rest.”

  I gave him a small wave before climbing back into my RV.

  Chapter 3

  While the prospect of spending a day lying around doing nothing had seemed horrible at first, it wasn’t long before I gave myself over to it. I had created an oasis inside my RV, which was a thousand times nicer than anything I would have been able to afford before the virus. Since it was no longer mobile, the sides were permanently extended, leaving plenty of space for both the couch and the small table. There was a kitchen, now partly useless since Dayton, Power, & Light was a thing of the past, and the bedroom at the back had a queen size bed.

  It was more than a person in this world needed since most of the luxuries of the past had died along with the majority of the population, but it was a comfort to have a private place to retire in the evening. I’d never been a very social person, and while living in close quarters with a group of people you trusted was important these days, it could also get old fast. There was very little privacy, and not much happened that the rest of the settlement didn’t know about. Like when Max, a man in his fifties, had slapped his wife last October. We’d all heard it.

  That had been the first major conflict in our little settlement. It was also the reason we’d established the council—a group of seven people, all different ages, who were more or less the governing body for our group. We’d opened it up to nominations, not wanting to bring messy politics into a world that was already complicated beyond anything we’d ever imagined, and from there had held an election. Fifteen people were nominated, myself among them, and seven elected for a term of one year. It had been an experiment, and terrifying for those of us elected, but it was working.